LMFAO
by Patricia Sage
Summary: Kurt tries to teach Finn how to play chess. Burt and Carol are embarrasing. Based off of a personal experience.


**LMFAO**

**Author's Note: Why, hello there. Thank you for checking out this story! I have to get a few things off my chest here before you read this.**

**One: I know nothing about chess, so forgive how pathetic and vague my writing is there.**

**Two: This fanfiction was based on a personal experience. Consider Finn and Kurt to be me in two bodies, and Burt and Carol to be my mom and dad. Weirdest moment of my life.**

**Three: In this story, Finn didn't propose to Rachel. I wrote this before it happened and I'm kind of in shock at the strangeness of it...sweet, but strange.**

**And I hope you enjoy this! :) Please review, it helps improve my writing.**

**THTHTHTHTHTHTH**

Kurt rubbed his temples and sighed heavily. He was sitting across from Finn at the kitchen table, trying and failing to teach the taller boy how to play chess. "No, Finn." He said in a voice that he hoped resembled patient. "You can't move over there."

Finn's face crumpled in concentration and confusion. "Why not?" He asked vaguely. His chair creaked a little as he leaned back to balance on only the back legs. Kurt thought it would serve him right if he toppled over.

"Because my knight is there right now." Kurt said in a strained voice that showed he was barely restraining himself from shouting. They had been playing for almost an hour now, and Kurt's usually high patience level was wearing thin.

"Kurt," Burt said, glancing over the newspaper he was reading, "Be calm, alright? Finn's learning."

Finn shot his step-father a grateful smile and then looked down at the black and white board once again, fidgeting with one of his dark pieces as he thought. Kurt just rolled his eyes, "Dad, he's been learning for almost an hour!"

Finn pouted while Burt put down the paper with a sigh. Obviously, this conversation wouldn't die easily. "Kid, I've been sitting with you guys this whole time and he's not that bad. You need to relax a bit." He placed a large hand on Kurt's elbow and his son took another deep breath and delved into his acting abilities to appear calm. "Why are you learnin' chess anyway, Finn?" The older Hummel asked.

Kurt was mumbling something about how he shouldn't have offered to help in the first place, while Finn ran a hand through his hair. "Well, you see, it's sort of because of Rachel."

A snide remark, "Isn't it always?"

"Kurt! You're supposed to be nice!" Finn said, frowning, then returned to talking to Burt. "Well, actually, not really...but yeah."

Burt sighed. "Get on with it, kid." Maybe spending an hour with Finn like this could be a _little_ stressful.

"Well, she invites me over sometimes to spend time with her and her dads. It's for bonding or whatever. And Hiram is really good at chess, like, he used to be a champion when he was a teenager or something crazy like that. So, Rachel thinks that it would be really awesome for me and her dad to play chess and, I dunno, get to know each other over an intellectual and, uh, good game...those were kinda her words..." The last part of his explination faded off to a mumble.

Burt raised his eyebrows. "No offence, Finn, but I don't think that you're really gonna impress Mr. Berry with your chess skills."

"No kidding."

"Kurt!"

"Sorry."

Finn didn't even fight this time. "Yeah, I know. But, I really don't share that much in common with them, or whatever. I mean, we both like to sing, but we like totally different genres of music, and...I dunno. I just want to please them, I guess. For Rachel."

Kurt sighed a little, this time not from exasperation. The tense set of his shoulders were relaxed and his face had softened gently. "Finn." He said surprisingly kindly, looking at his step-brother from across the table. "I know this is cliche but, really, all you need to do is be yourself. Mr. and Mr. Berry know that you love Rachel, and so do they. So you have that in common. And they also know that you make her happy. So don't try to be anyone you're not; they'll love you, alright?"

Both Finn and Burt looked a little surprised. "What?" Kurt said defensively, "I can be supportive!"

Finn's shocked look turned into his usual dopey smile. "Thanks, Kurt." He stared down at the chess board for a bit and then looked up again. "Yeah, I don't think chess is my thing."

Kurt nodded in agreement. "Mhm," He said, reaching across the table and moving one of his white pieces. "Check mate...for, like, the hundredth time."

Finn just laughed and started clearing the board. Burt smiled at both his sons. He was proud of Kurt for giving Finn good advice, and also proud of Finn for listening. He just picked up his newspaper once again when Carol came through the door.

"Boys, I'm home!" She called out. The men at the table let out their responces. "Kurt, honey, could you help me with these groceries?"

"Sure thing, Carol." Kurt said, getting up and leaving Finn to clean the rest of the game.

They were putting things away in the kitchen when Carol started to sing softly. "Party rock is in the house tonight...everybody just have a good time..."

Finn almost toppled over from his chair. "Mom! Why are you singing LMFAO? That's so _weird_..."

Burt, without looking up from his paper, chanted matter-of-factly, "I-I-I I work out."

Kurt nearly dropped a jar of Nutella. "_Dad_! What the heck?"

"What? I heard it on the radio..." Burt said, looking up at his son innocently.

Kurt, sharing an equally frightened look with Finn, put down the groceries in his arms and started to walk out of the room. "I'm getting out of this crazy place." He muttered.

"Take me with you!" Finn said, stumbling out of his chair. They exited the kitchen together, both muttering about how _it's just not right for parents to do that_ and _how do they even know those songs?_

From the other room, neither of them could stop from face-palming when they heard a shout of "EVERY DAY I'M SHUFFLIN'!"

Kurt looked over at Finn. Finn looked at Kurt. "Wanna go out for supper, just me and you?" The taller one asked.

"Sounds fabulous."

**THTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTH**

**Author's Second Note: Well that was random. And probably the most pointless thing I have ever written. Did you like it? Hate it?**

**Did you know that they're casting for Rachel's dads? I'm so excited! They're possibly going to sing in the Valentine's Day episode! But Blaine is not gonna be in that one! *cries in a corner*. ...Okay I'm good now.**

**What was I saying?**

**Oh yeah.**

**How was it? Please, please review! I love reviews (constructive critisism is very welcome!) and I will reply to each one! I love to talk...like, a lot. So I should stop this freakin author's note now...'kay bye.**

**Take care.**  
><strong>-Patricia Sage<strong>


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